Overwhelmed

I haven't had a chance to update this, I should really put some of my thoughts onto paper as well. It's been quite a busy month (or 2), the kids were on school holidays between June 26 and July 12 and I honestly don't know where those 2 weeks went! I remember having another arguement with DP about housework - him feeling he does heaps and me feeling that it's not enough. He said he did the dishes every day for 2 weeks, but it was definately not that long. He tells me I need to pay more attention to how much he's "really" doing. He also thought he'd done enough to lose weight recently, but the scales last week showed he'd put on 10kg since earlier this year, putting him over 190kg! Eek! I really don't like his weight, I find it unattractive. I feel so shallow, but the truth is he was around 130kg when we started going out, it was when he hit 145kg I said it was starting to cause a problem. That was before DD 4 was born!

The house has been driving me nuts, I'm trying so hard to declutter but I just feel like it's 2 steps forward and 1 step back. I spent Saturday trying to sort out the living room. I swear I put the same toys away 10 times! DD (now 2) and DD 4 were contantly tipping things out. I got the room so tidy and vaccummed, had to wait until DD 2 was having her nap, but still have things to sort out in there. It's just that once the floor is tidy it's like a request to the little ones to tip a tub of toys out! So now the living room is back to it's normal messy state. Even after Monday when I thought I would have to clean up after everyone went to bed... I came home from the girls sport to find that DS 13 had cleaned it and vaccummed, it looked fantastic! By tea time it was a mess and DS commented on it. I said "welcome to my life" LOL I must try to tidy it every night... I just feel so exhausted by the time DD 2 goes to sleep though! Plus I wanted to endeavour to "shine the sink"... but in my head the kitchen is DP's job, I must take it over, it's depressing leaving it to him!

Last week, Tuesday, I thought DP was going to do tea - he's been doing tea quite a bit, though I wish he'd look at healthier options. I came home with the kids to find DP was in the bathroom, the kitchen was a bomb site, so I got the older 2 to dry the dishes and I washed. We'd almost finished when DP got out - about 40 minutes later! I was going to do tea, DP rang and ordered pizza instead! This was after Monday when I told him how to make a pasta dish with tomato and vegies, instead he did mac and cheese! With instant cheese sauce too, to make it worse. So I cooked it Thursday, only the pasta sauce was too hot and the little ones didn't like it anyway *sob*

This week hasn't been much better. I was feeling sick on Monday, I hardly ate because I felt I'd throw up. By evening I was feeling fine. We had spring rolls for lunch then DP wanted them for tea as well, but I said no. We had a sweet and sour chicken, but DP doesn't skin the chicken does he, so I was picking that out. And I don't know why it was so liquid, it's not usually like that. DP had done a few dishes Monday while I was feeling out of it... I put on laundry and hung it out. Tuesday was a day I wasn't home much again, and while DP may have done some dishes it certainly wasn't all of them. I'd come home at lunch time because DD 2 was sooky and feverish, I spent the afternoon cuddling her. Every time I tried to put her down she woke up and cried. DP wanted to order pizza again for tea because it's cheaper on Tuesdays! I said we could just cook the last of the spring rolls. I'd not wanted to eat them all the day before, but spring rolls are better than spending $30 odd on pizza! Yesterday was Wednesday and I had sooooo much I wanted to do! DP did nothing! He sat on the toilet and the computer and that was about it. I put on washing and hung some inside because it was wet. I had 2 visitors by lunch time. I made cupcakes. DD 2 was very demanding of my time again, I'm sure she wasn't well still, and I had DD 4 at home too. DD 16 came home with a friend so they cooked tea, which was great, but I needed to get in to the kitchen LOL I took her friend home at 8.30pm, DD 2 still just wanted mummy hugs, I finally gave her to DP at 9.30pm so I could finish what I had to before Thursday. 11pm I got to bed! I was exhausted.

Today I was on kinder duty so have been out for the morning. DP isn't well, he was in the toilet when I got home and is in bed now. He says he spent the morning between bed and the toilet. DD 2 fell asleep about an hour ago, I hope she wakes up before I need to pick DD 4 up from kinder. I was doing some dishes and folded some laundry, I have heaps left on the airer because it's not worth putting on the line outside. The kitchen is a bomb site again, I look at it and I'm overwhelmed. Every piece of cutlery was out of the drawer (some I dried and put away, it had been done yesterday) There were no cups in the cupboard either. I've done some and will go shortly to dry them and put them away, but I wanted to start updating this more regularly. I will pick up DD 4, then DS 13, go to mum's, then DS 13 has sport. Mum will pick him up so I can come home around 5pm with the little ones. From mum's DD 16 and DS 13 will go to youth group and I will pick them up at 9.30pm. Hopefully I can get the kitchen sorted between then, it needs to be tidy to cook tea... I don't even know what we'll have for tea! Argh!