DP acts like a teenager... again.

DD 16 has been having trouble with one of her classes. She feels like the teacher ignores her when she asks for help and picks on her - as in points out what she hasn't done in front of the whole class. The last straw was when she failed her exam, along with about half the others that did it, and then her teacher told her she shouldn't come to resit it on Tuesday. She'd done a practice exam and not got a pass (70% I think). Trouble is that she can't do any more work until she resits it and passes, so he hassles her in class because she doesn't do work for that subject. She feels she's done as much as she can and wants to sit the exam, he won't let her. So I said that we'll make a time to see that teacher when we get a chance next term. I also asked her if there was someone else we could see over that teacher's head. Her co-ordinator. Ok, does she want us to ring and talk to him, no, she feels she can see him herself. We discussed options - we being myself and DD 16. I then got her to tell DP about it that afternoon - Tuesday. She was reluctant to do that but did, and DP started saying we should call the teacher and talk to him, he got to sort of raving, he was pretty upset. DD 16 almost yelled at him that she wanted to deal with it herself so DP yelled back "Well do it yourself then". Argh! I was so annoyed. He was annoyed that DD 16 didn't want to talk to him about it I think. I suggested to DP later that DD 16 was worried that he would yell at the teacher or something like that. "Have I done that before?" he said. No, he hasn't been in that position before. I told him he was sort of raving and maybe that worried DD 16, maybe she thought he'd embarrass her. We got nowhere with that conversation. I was happy to see if DD 16 could sort it out, and I told her if she needed us to back her up or if either of her teachers wanted to talk to us that we were fine with that and we were there for her. DD 16 didn't get to talk to her co-ordinator because he was busy. I said she needs to tell him she wants to talk to him before next term, basically that's today. She said she told him that. So it started again this morning.

DP was saying to DD 16 about talking to her teacher and she obviously doesn't want that. He said he's not told off her teachers before so she has no reason to think he will do that now, and why doesn't she want him to see her teacher? She had no reason, the discussion went for ages - "Why don't you want me to talk to your teacher?" "Because I said I don't want you to" "That's not a real reason" "Yes it is". Finally she said she will think of one by the end of the day. That's where I hoped DP would stop (and I told him that later after DD 16 left for school) But no, he kept it up. I was in the room when she said "If you go to see my teacher then I won't be there" and waved her hands up in a "so there" sort of pose. I copied her and said "there's no call for that". DP said "give me your ipod and your phone". She looked like she was going to throw them at him. She ended up leaving in tears, which is when I told DP he took it too far. He doesn't get it, he said she'll be fine by the time she gets to the bus. He also couldn't see that leaving it and bringing it up later would have a different result - my point was that it would be better if she was upset and home than upset and having to go to school. Nope, didn't sink in. I was so angry with him. I said it upsets the whole house. He just pursed his lips and said he'll stay out of it. ARGH! I can't take it any more.

On a brighter note I was out all day yesterday and came home and DP had actually done all of the dishes and tidied the bench a bit. OMG! And this morning while we were at playgroup he's done most of the few dishes that were there too. Maybe he understands finally, will see if we can keep on top of it for the next few days.

He's at a counsellor appointment right now. I had to load the little ones in to the car and take him, and I expect a message or a call to go and pick him up around 2pm. I just got a message from DD 16 wanting to go with her boyfriend to see his mum's boyfriend (does that make sense) to get help with this subject. I want her to come home, we will talk about it then... and I want to know if she's talked to her co-ordinator.

DD 1 has spread tissues all over the living room floor... Better go and clean it up.