Some background

Ok, so I have 4 kids and a partner with anxiety disorder. My days are chaotic and I suffer from a bad case of Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome - CHAOS.

My partner (DP) has anxiety disorder and social phobia. He was diagnosed after 2 years of me telling him to see his GP because the way he lived (and still lives) is not "normal". It's caused a lot of stress in our relationship. We had some couples counselling after he wasn't taking his own state of mind seriously enough to see a counsellor and get help. Actually the problem is him admitting he needs help and following through. We finally had to stop the couples counselling because it became apparent that a big part of the problem is DP's computer addiction. I'm finding it really hard to deal with, so this is going to be a sort of diary for me to keep track of "progress", or maybe so I can prove that it really is a problem and he's not making enough of an effort. We often argue whether or not he is trying his hardest to make this relationship work.

Take today. Last night my 4 year old was throwing up (DD 4). This morning the 1 year old followed suit (DD 1). I'm not feeling so good myself to be honest. DP got up with the little ones and I slept in until about 8.15am. DD 1 wanted cuddles so I sat on the computer for a while. DP was playing WoW (that's World of Warcraft for those that read this and don't know) I finally went for my shower at about 10am after chatting to my SIL on Facebook. DD 1 was happy to watch some TV. I got out and DP was still on WoW. At about 11am he headed for the bathroom telling me the landlord would be here soon. He arrived around midday and DP had just gone in to the shower... we have one bathroom and it's the only way in to the toilet. DP locks the bathroom door when he goes to the toilet and/or the shower. Anyway, we had to sign a new rent agreement and I wanted the LL to look at some leaky taps. That involved waiting for the bathroom to be free. So DP gets out and the LL leaves, and DP starts telling the kids (there are 4 in total) that we are going to Centrelink to drop off his form and then to a local shopping centre. By now I'm feeling less than perky and really can't be bothered, plus while the little ones seem ok they have both vomited in the last 12 hours. It's about 1pm. I suggest it's not a good idea to go out with them, DP gets annoyed and says he will catch a bus.

Here I must say that DP doesn't drive. He has his L's but for 12 months hasn't done much about sorting things out to get his licence. He says it's because of his anxiety, driving is more stressful for him than it is for me. But anyway. He is on Zoloft for his anxiety, so he takes a pill and plays WoW. When I ask he says he needs an hour for the medication to kick in. Great, but at least I don't have to drive him and 4 kids around today. DD 1 falls asleep, it's 3.30pm and she is still asleep, so a pretty good sign she's unwell. DP finally headed to the bus at about 3pm. About 20 mins ago he called to ask what time Centrelink closes - it used to be 3pm. Does anyone else remember those days? I looked online, it's 5pm now. So I guess he'll go in to town and make his way home, then he'll sit on WoW for the rest of the night and be annoyed that I "made" him catch a bus and get himself around. Oh well... we shall see.