Slack day

So yesterday I spent an hour in the bathroom cleaning the window and sorting out the cupboard under the basin. I told DP I was going to get the bathroom done and he said he'd race me with the kitchen. He did do some dishes, getting DD 17 to dry in between. Time sharing again, it's so frustrating... but I think it's partly because he just can't stand up for long. The diet shakes he was doing fell by the wayside, he talks about doing it and there's a sign on the door saying "3 shakes a day, Do not forget" Last night he asked what sort of pizza I wanted for tea and I said "a free one". We are supposed to be saving money so I cooked tea. I'm working on craft to sell online too so I made some things yesterday. All in all it was a fairly lazy day but at least I did some in the bathroom.

More than can be said for today. DP's dad rang last night to say he'd drop by on his way home this morning so instead of getting into the bathroom between 8 and 9am I was trying to tidy the living room a bit. I also put on some washing and hung that out, which is what I was doing when DP's father turned up. I'd told DP to ask if his dad got my email. About maybe 2 months ago DP's father rang and said that he hadn't given the kids gifts for a while and he wanted me to email him some ideas. DP told me not to bother but I eventually convinced him that we should. Stupid me... he didn't give the children anything. He bought lunch when we were out on Monday. It's not that my children need gifts... it's the thought that counts right. But he puts no thought into our family at all. I'm over it, I've told DP I never want to see or talk to his father again. I'm not going to put up with being treated like that. DP said it's how he was always treated - he would see everyone else getting presents and when he'd ask why he got nothing he would be told he was a present grabber. Now his children are getting treated like that, I don't think so. At least they have my family who love them and "spoil" them.

I don't expect anything for my eldest 2, they're not DP's biological children. But the 2 little girls... DP's father gave DD 5 a present for her first Christmas, a couple of outfits from Target. He's given her nothing since. And DD 2 has never had a gift from him. This wouldn't bother me except that DP and DD 5 were out with his father about 2 years ago and he picked up a big doll saying "I just have to get this for my grand-daughter" and bought it for DP's niece. Then there's the time we were given a soda stream as a family present... that was our last ever gift I think... and it was the same year DP's sister was given a Wii and Wii Fit board. The story of DP's life he says. His mother was no better, that's why she's been out of our lives for about 4 years. I'd be happy to get rid of his father too to be honest. I know it's the stress of his father being in town that's made him more useless these last few days, sitting on WoW to 'destress', to forget about his family and how they've treated him. I just wish he'd get help to get past it. It's all very well to say they made him who he is today but he really needs to get on with his life.

Anyway, I didn't do anything in the bathroom today. I intended to but was so angry with DP's father saying he got my email and looking like "why, did you expect something"... making me feel like a right idiot... And my craft items arrived today so I've been working on making things. I also took my kids to the pool in the morning then visited my mum and brothers in the afternoon.

Tomorrow is another day, and the last of 2010. I hope 2011 brings a new outlook on life, especially for DP.

Here's hoping.

I'm back... new resolutions for 2011

Ok, I've been really slack with this blog... what can I say... very little has changed. Instead of going over it all I will start again. 2011 is going to be my year to get organised! I am sick of this house, I am sick of waiting for DP, I need to make us fit this house not store everything in the hope we'll have room for it one day.
So yesterday I started in the bathroom. I spent an hour in the morning cleaning the basin and bath. I even scrubbed where we store the toothbrushes and rinsed the lid of the toothpaste (after discarding 3 used tubes that were never going to be used again) Today I'm trying to decide whether to tackle the shower or try getting into the cupboard and/or drawers.
We also had DP's father come for tea yesterday, DP's idea, he invited him the day before. So I was also trying to sort out the living room so it at least looked tidy. DP played WoW the whole time I was running around. I did a load of washing too, I love this warmer weather, I can keep up with the laundry.
I then took the kids to visit my mum. We'd been busy since Christmas Day and I had some things to take over to her. My brother and his family were there but went for a picnic lunch with friends so I decided to stay for lunch. This is our first Christmas without my dad so I think we're all trying to keep mum company. I usually visit my grandmother on a Tuesday so we went there on the way home. I headed home at about 4pm knowing that DP's father was coming. DP was just peeling potatoes and pumpkin and the roast was in. It had been frozen though so ended up taking until 7pm to be done and the pumpkin and potatoes needed longer. DP commented that they need to go in at the same time as the roast, he knew that though. I also said the chicken should have gone in the microwave to defrost a bit first as well. Oh well. DP's father apparently rang at 2pm and was going to head over then but DP told him the kids and I were out. So he turned up around 5.30pm. DP played WoW the whole time! I put some vegies in to steam in the microwave and told DP when the roast was ready it would need a couple of minutes to reheat... he looks and says we need more, adds the rest of the packet and then that's what ended up not being eaten anyway! Grrr. While we waited for tea to cook I ended up putting on a DVD, so we didn't eat until after 7pm because the movie was halfway through by the time we ate and I put it on at 7pm! We all sat in the living room (we don't have a dining area) watching the movie and eating tea, DP didn't join us at all. I was so annoyed with him. His father left just after 9pm after taking lots of photos of the little girls.
DP's excuse is that his father is more relaxed when he isn't around, that's why he sat in his corner on the computer. I said this morning that's how our whole life is, him sitting there. He said "make sure my chair is clear and I'll sit there more often"... ARGH!!! I said "WHY SHOULD THAT BE UP TO ME, YOU DO IT" Jerk!!! He can clear his own fucking chair, it's always ME!!!!!

Finally Normality... whatever that means

It took 18 days but I'm finally over that stupid flu. Still have a cough but at least I'm not in pain (face-ache). The last week DP has been pretty useless, his dr put his medication up from 50mg to 150mg of Zoloft. Technically it was his own fault he had to start over, he was on 200mg then stopped taking it cold turkey - idiot. By the time he got back on it he had to start at 50mg again. So today he said "It's nurophen I'm not supposed to take". I'd asked him ages ago, I was sure he wasn't supposed to take it but he said 'no, it's nurophen plus'. No, he can take panadol, not nurophen. It's not affected him until he's been on the higher dose of Zoloft though. Apparenty today wasn't the first time, he said one of the other days last week he was tired and went to bed he'd taken nurophen, then this morning he took 3 for a headache and it knocked him around so now it's 2.15pm and he's gone to bed.

He's done nothing in the kitchen, surprise surprise. The dishes I did this morning are in the drying rack still. Yesterday I was home most of the day and he didn't do anything. What annoys me is that he says to DD 5 "I'll just clean up the kitchen and we can do some cooking" then he sits on the computer all bloody day. Last week was the same. Wednesday he said he would cook, he did nothing. Then Thursday he was home all day on the computer, apparently doing 'work' for a 'client'... I was out most of Thursday again. And Friday we went to playgroup in the morning and all I heard from DP was how he'd clean up in the kitchen and cook with DD 5... by tea time I was sick to death of it so I did heaps of dishes and cooked before tea went in. We ended up eating late but I told DP off and said for 3 days he said he'd cook and I was sick of waiting. That's the problem with DP... I called him a "gunna"... he hates that term - "Gunna do this and gunna do that"... then they do nothing. That's him! He did make some biscuits with the little ones before they went to bed, left it late IMO though.

Saturday was shopping day then we were home for the afternoon. Sunday I had to take DD 16 to compete for the day. We didn't get home until 8.30pm. The kitchen was a mess, especially considering they had little franks for lunch and DS 13 went to the local shop to buy chips for tea!

Today he wanted a hug before I left, and I told him not to bother with affection. I'm so mean. However when he asked why I said because he needs to start doing more, like use the software he frigging bought earlier this year! "Get it out there", I said. Bloody hell, he paid for it because he reckoned it would be so popular with businesses then he doesn't let anyone know he has it! So fucking sick of that. He spends hours and hours making websites and putting together programs etc then doesn't do anything with them. It shits me. And the fact that he spent money on this one program... not to mention hosting and domain names and all that other crap he says he'll get businesses helping to pay for... it's not going to happen if he sits on his arse at home all day! OMG, he also has this one 'client' that he had to get some stuff from to finish a website, he emails the guy for months then finally the guy rocks up on our doorstep, he hadn't checked his email or DP had the wrong addy, I dunno, but he tells DP to call him!!! Pick up the phone!!! DP tells me that's why he asked the guy if the addy was one he checked regularly, because he wanted to deal with him via email... I said at some point he will have to deal with people on the phone or in person! If he can't do that then he's trying to get in to the wrong business. Argh!!!!

I have to go soon and the kitchen is a mess, I've spent 20 minutes typing here while DD 2 naps and DD 5 has been drawing. The living room is pretty horrible too, really needs vacuuming. At least we've had a couple of nicer days, yesterday I got so much laundry done. Today is back to being grey but I've hung out some sheets and towels anyway. DP is snoring, I can hear him from here (he is up the other end of the hallway) I'm surprised it hasn't woken DD 2 LOL

Getting back on track

12 days feeling like crap now. The last week has mostly been face-ache from the blocked sinus' I think. Saw the dr on Thursday but she couldn't find any sign of infection, it's a virus and nothing can be taken to help. Wednesday night I'd had earache, but it was ok by Thursday. I cried Wednesday night, I was so over feeling like crap. Cried again today because my face still hurt and I'm so over feeling like this. I took twice the painkillers I normally would and ended up going to bed because I just couldn't stay awake. But I was in so much pain, like toothache... having a sore head/face is just the worst I reckon.

Anyway, last night DP made a point of saying how much he's done recently, looking for me to say how wonderful it was no doubt. Well, he had tried earlier in the week, but by the end of this week he'd slacked off again... Monday and Tuesday he actually did quite well, almost managed to keep the kitchen clean... except that we've had ants and he's sprayed them but not cleaned them up. So there are little piles of ants in the corners of the kitchen on the floor... he sprayed again today so it's worse. I was cleaning them up with paper towel and ajax spray and wipe. Bloody ants. Last night I said I'd noticed early in the week that DP was doing the dishes, I said I've been feeling too bloody horrible to say anything. I'm so over feeling like crap and having faceache every morning. At least it's been going away in the afternoon. Today mum came over to help out with the living room. It looks great, we got a new couch! So mum came over to get things looking tidy, and it's great. Back to what it was before I got sick, now I have to stay on top of it. DP sat on the computer all day again though. He had an afternoon nap yesterday and the day before! So tonight he headed to bed at 9.30pm, tomorrow he has a dr appointment. He was supposed to have one when I was sick, he cancelled that. Then he said it was Thursday only he got a call Wednesday because he'd missed it! So now he has one tomorrow. Of course I will have to take him, even though I took myself on Thursday last week... he didn't come along! He just stays home. Then he tells me I need to stay home and rest... would be a hell of a lot easier if he had his damn licence! I have to take DD 5 to kinder for a start! She was so upset about missing a day when I was first sick!

Friday he asked me to transfer $100 to his account so he could go shopping, said he'd catch a taxi... instead he went to bed at about 5pm. God it shit me! He talked like he'd do it, but he wanted me to say "oh I'll drive"... but I was feeling shithouse, the weather was completely crappy, I didn't want to go out... so he went to bed when DD 16 started cooking tea. We ended up going grocery shopping Saturday morning, DD 5 had a birthday party that afternoon so we had to be quick. He sat on the computer until 10am so we didn't get out until after midday!

Besides that, he seems to still be doing his meal replacement shakes though I commented that if he was having 2 a day he'd have gone through them faster... he hasn't run out yet and we've been buying 8 a week. Hmm, we've bought 30 in total and he's been doing it for... 17 days. And he's got 10 left, so that's 20 over 17 days... Plus he's been drinking a lot of Coke, and still has his 2-3 coffees in the morning. And tonight he bought pizza for tea, not sure how much he ate. I'm really concerned that he's not really sticking to the diet very well. Yes, I want him to lose weight. The scales weren't working when we were out yesterday, he wanted to stand on them and see how he's going. Oh well... plenty of time for that I suppose.

Tomorrow is another day, there's a huge pile of dishes but at least they're only today's. DS 13 helped me today, we did many of them. Mum had done some too. DP had DD 16 do some too I think. She was in a foul mood today, had a go at DP for no reason so I yelled at her. Said I'm short tempered thanks to feeling like crap for so long and I'm not putting up with people talking like that. Now I'd better go to bed and hopefully this damn flu will bugger off and I can start feeling normal and functioning like a normal person.

One step forward, two steps back :(

After feeling so positive Tuesday night everything has fallen in a heap and I'm fucking depressed again! Grrrr. As predicted DD 2 was awake at 9pm, she was sooky and had a temperature. I sat up with her for an hour or so then went to bed with her. She was hot and restless all night! We gave her panadol. I started feeling horrible around 4am, headachy, hot... sure enough Wednesday morning saw me not wanting to get out of bed. DD 2 was the same, hot, huggy, DP took her out so I could sleep. He ended up putting on DVD's and fell asleep with DD 2 lying on him on his chair. I heard him snoring. I got up around 2.30pm and sat up for a while. When DD 2 woke up I took her and cuddled her for a bit. At about 4pm I was feeling far too weak to sit up any more and took DD 2 back to bed. We both slept. At 9pm she decided it was time to get up so we came out. The other kids had gone to bed, DP had cooked sausages for them apparently. We didn't sit up long, DD 2 had a bottle of milk and we went back to bed.

I thought DD 2's temp broke early Thursday morning, but she ended up still being unwell. So was I. The older kids were told to come straight home from school, I heard DD 16 yelling at DP so got up in time to see DS going out the door. DD 16 had a meeting after school she wanted to go to, DP thought it was an evening one. Apparently DD 16 hadn't told him she would be home by 5pm at the latest. So she got permission to go and was home by 4.30pm. I sat up for a while cuddling DD 2 and at around 9.30am got a text from DS 13 saying he had a headache and wanted to come home. The teacher allowed him to go when he showed them my text saying it was ok. He had a panadol and spent most of the day in bed. I took my laptop to bed with me and DD 2 fell asleep watching me play games, then I decided I should sleep more too. It was about 2.30pm when I got up again. DD 2 had more milk but all I've had is water. I thought I'd try a cold coffee but only drank half of it, better than nothing though.

I'd been listening to DP cough for 2 days and told him he should see a dr, he said the priority was for me and the kids to get better. Thing is, we're not asthmatic! He is. I guess if he has to go to hospital it will be his own damn fault. Anyway, he put constant DVD's on for DD 5, including the entire first series of Avatar: the last airbender. He sat on the damn computer all fucking day! The most he did was put on a load of about 5 towels which he didn't even get out of the fucking machine - I listened to the damn thing beeping all day! Argh!!!! Ok, so he's not well either, but well enough to play fucking WoW all fucking day... I had no fucking energy to sit up at all! Early this morning I said "you know you've been sick when you think - wow, this is normal"... I knew he was gearing up to playing the sick card himself, hoping I was going to be well. I still feel weak and that "normal" feeling isn't really there any more... but I got up this morning and told him off for putting Avatar on again! Bloody hell. He says "DD 5 loves Avatar"... but I put the tv on instead, her favourite show was 20 minutes away. I'm not having the kids watch fucking DVD's all day again... only DS is sick and watching Avatar now LOL But I put out some play stuff for the little girls and they've been having a great time. So much better than sitting watching tv all day.

Anyway... the kitchen is fucked up again, a total mess. All my work gone... Fuck fuck fuck! And all the shopping we bought Monday - sitting on the fucking floor. At least we put the cold stuff away... mind you I'd bought heaps of vegies for DP and this fucking diet he's doing, I bet they're all still in the bags on the floor. There are about 7 I can see from here. ARGH!!!! And my tidy fucking bench - looks like shit AGAIN! I'm so fucking pissed off. DP has done next to fucking nothing! But as I said - he'll play the sick fucking card. Too fucking hard for him to do anything! He's gone to bed now too... about an hour ago. This morning his breathing sounded terrible, he says "I'm fine"... IDIOT! God he shits me. Then when I say he should see a dr he says "I just need sleep"... hint hint right.

So that's been my 2 shit days, this is number 3. I feel crap, I'm sick of being sick, I just want to get back to normal! I was feeling so accomplished, I was doing so fucking well... even my living room looks like shit again. Toys, mess, it needs cleaning and vacuuming. The clothes on the airer have been there since Tuesday so are dry, but I'm the only one that can fold and put them away apparently. Not to mention all the washing waiting to be done. Oh, yesterday I wanted to bath the little ones. DD 2 was getting quite stinky, probably from being unwell as well as going 2 days without a bath. DP said he'd run one, finally did it in the afternoon. And the other thing... he said that he'd has his "main meal" for lunch so would have a shake for tea so if I wanted to I could order pizza. I said that was a silly idea as most of us wouldn't be eating, it seemed a waste. Then when DD 16 came home he asked if we had gravy, suggesting DD 16 could go and buy chips. Again, stupid idea. I certainly wasnt' going to eat, DD 2 wasn't well, DS wasn't well, he wasn't eating, what a waste of money. So DD 16 asked if there were leftovers from last night, no DP ate them for lunch (I wonder how many there were?) There were only 5 uncooked sausages left so DD 16 said she'd make a casserole with them. What a good girl :) She even cooked some potatoes and steamed some vegies, which apparently DD 2 got stuck in to! Fantastic!

So now I've spent ages updating this, I hope it makes sense. I've got dishes and laundry and tidying to do... without overdoing it so I end up feeling worse. I want to be better tomorrow!

A shiny sink?

Well, I did end up going for coffee last Wednesday, and I've no idea where the rest of the day, or the week, went after that! On Thursday I was out and got a text message from DP saying he wanted me to pick up meal replacement stuff. I went to a pharmacy and spent $65 on 14 shakes, tablets to help sugar cravings, a shaker cup and a book explaining the diet. I figured that was a good thing to have, it has a "how to" type bit and explanations about what foods are ok. One of the reasons he's never stuck to one of these is the protein content, he ends up feeling hungry. So this book says that if you have a BMI over 40 to have 2 protein serves instead of one a day. He stood on the scales yesterday after doing the diet since Friday (day 4) and had lost about 10kg. Using that weight his BMI is currently 59.

Last night he was talking about how funny he will look if he loses weight and his head and shoulders remain the same. I said his shoulders will get smaller, he thinks that his bones are "right there" so he won't LOL He said if I'm right he'll get a tattoo "with needles" (he has a severe fear of needles, still waiting for him to have a blood test he was referred months ago) I asked how sure he is that he's right, and he's sure enough to make a bet. If I lose I have to wear an outfit of his choosing... I'm happy with that LOL So I've measured across his back and it's 79cms. We will measure again when he's lost 60kgs (at 130kgs)

On Saturday morning I was in a foul mood, I got up and started doing dishes. I had a go at DP about it and told him I wasn't going anywhere until they were done. DD 16 had a friend coming over so they could go out shopping. DS 13 rang a mate and ended up heading over there for the day. DP said he would take the little girls out shopping. It took him a couple of hours to actually get ready, most of that was spent in the bathroom! But around 1pm he headed out with them, took the stroller for DD 2 and caught a bus!!! I was very surprised, but grateful for the time at home ALONE!!! It ended up only being 2 hours before DD 16 and her friend returned and made jelly slice... but I'd accomplished a lot by then anyway. Not the whole messy corner, but I did most of the dishes, mostly cleared the bench and wiped the top cupboards and rangehood. DP and the girls got home at about 4.30pm, I just hope they'd been warm enough! DS got home about an hour later. I cooked mince for tea which everyone loved... except DD 16 as I took her and her friend to a party and they ate there LOL

Sunday morning DS 13 and I finished the dishes and I was able to tidy most of the messy corner... I know, it sounds like I only "mostly" do things... but there are things I just have trouble putting away and the bench is the best place for them at the moment. Sunday afternoon I took the kids to visit my mum so didn't get to do my room, which has been on the list for ages!!! Sunday night I actually got a chance to do the dishes before I went to bed, though I did leave a bowl to soak... then found some more things when I cleared the little ones table - d'oh. Should have done that first! Anyway, it was because DD 2 went to sleep before 8.30pm, last night, Monday, she fought it until nearly 10.30pm so I didn't get to do the dishes at all :( She was restless and I woke up late this morning so didn't get to do them first thing. And then I was out all day (not normal for a Tuesday, I'm usually home around lunch time for a bit before picking DD 5 up from kinder) I didn't hold out much hope that DP would do the very few dishes, and was right. He'd put tea on, sausage rolls, but it would have been nice if he'd done the dishes. I guess it really is going to be my responsibility, leaving him free to sit on the computer. He'll probably argue that he's having a really hard time at the moment, what with dieting and sugar cravings... but what's new - he's never done the kitchen. Even when I've made it so damn easy!!! Grrr!!!

So I did them tonight after DD 2 fell asleep. I'm thinking that because she only had an hour nap today (1-2pm approx.) that she may end up awake soon. I put her in her cot at about 6.30pm, it's almost 8pm now. I say she'll wake before 10pm LOL Now I think I've updated this I can go and do something in the living room - there are clothes to fold up and I got DS 13 to bring in the washing that's been out for 2-3 days and is wet because it started raining last night! Then perhaps I can put the toys away... how cool would it be to have 2 'tidy' rooms to wake up to!

A tidy living room before bed - what an accomplishment!

Yes, it's true. DD 2 went to sleep before 8pm so I decided vacuuming the living room before I went to bed would be a great habit to get in to. So it looks nice enough, not perfect, but better than usual. Since Tuesday is usually a busy day for me I'm pretty proud of myself. I may or may not be home all day tomorrow, might have a chance to catch up with friend/s for coffee... can't pass it up if it goes ahead. I want to tidy my room tomorrow if I'm home.

DP ended up being sick Friday as well last week, went for a nap at 1.30pm and got up at 7pm. I was going to put tea in the fridge when I heard him get up, he ended up being in the bathroom for 30 minutes though so I should have. Oh well.

Then Saturday he wanted to go shopping but we were busy that afternoon and had to get ready to go out, so shopping had to wait until Sunday. Sunday was a busy day too, but at least we got some groceries, even if it was rushed to get everything sorted out and done. We had a slow start Sunday, I think it's a day most of us sleep in LOL Almost no housework was done.

So Monday we went out to get some stuff for fixing around the house. The washing machine has been leaking, we needed a new shower head, and DP somehow broke the towel rail so we needed to replace it. That was the easiest thing, we were able to find the exact towel rail so installing it was pretty simple. Today DP has fixed the shower and washing machine, so I should forgive him for not doing the kitchen LOL

So there are heaps of dishes... still. It's so depressing. This morning I heard him running water into the sink, but he has this habit of doing that and leaving stuff "to soak". He must've washed a bottle for DD 2 (should get her off that LOL) and perhaps some cups for this morning. Wish there was clean cutlery. Perhaps if I'm home tomorrow I should do the kitchen. But I really want to sort out the bedroom :( Oh well. See what tomorrow brings... at least I will get up to a tidy living room LOL

Overwhelmed

I haven't had a chance to update this, I should really put some of my thoughts onto paper as well. It's been quite a busy month (or 2), the kids were on school holidays between June 26 and July 12 and I honestly don't know where those 2 weeks went! I remember having another arguement with DP about housework - him feeling he does heaps and me feeling that it's not enough. He said he did the dishes every day for 2 weeks, but it was definately not that long. He tells me I need to pay more attention to how much he's "really" doing. He also thought he'd done enough to lose weight recently, but the scales last week showed he'd put on 10kg since earlier this year, putting him over 190kg! Eek! I really don't like his weight, I find it unattractive. I feel so shallow, but the truth is he was around 130kg when we started going out, it was when he hit 145kg I said it was starting to cause a problem. That was before DD 4 was born!

The house has been driving me nuts, I'm trying so hard to declutter but I just feel like it's 2 steps forward and 1 step back. I spent Saturday trying to sort out the living room. I swear I put the same toys away 10 times! DD (now 2) and DD 4 were contantly tipping things out. I got the room so tidy and vaccummed, had to wait until DD 2 was having her nap, but still have things to sort out in there. It's just that once the floor is tidy it's like a request to the little ones to tip a tub of toys out! So now the living room is back to it's normal messy state. Even after Monday when I thought I would have to clean up after everyone went to bed... I came home from the girls sport to find that DS 13 had cleaned it and vaccummed, it looked fantastic! By tea time it was a mess and DS commented on it. I said "welcome to my life" LOL I must try to tidy it every night... I just feel so exhausted by the time DD 2 goes to sleep though! Plus I wanted to endeavour to "shine the sink"... but in my head the kitchen is DP's job, I must take it over, it's depressing leaving it to him!

Last week, Tuesday, I thought DP was going to do tea - he's been doing tea quite a bit, though I wish he'd look at healthier options. I came home with the kids to find DP was in the bathroom, the kitchen was a bomb site, so I got the older 2 to dry the dishes and I washed. We'd almost finished when DP got out - about 40 minutes later! I was going to do tea, DP rang and ordered pizza instead! This was after Monday when I told him how to make a pasta dish with tomato and vegies, instead he did mac and cheese! With instant cheese sauce too, to make it worse. So I cooked it Thursday, only the pasta sauce was too hot and the little ones didn't like it anyway *sob*

This week hasn't been much better. I was feeling sick on Monday, I hardly ate because I felt I'd throw up. By evening I was feeling fine. We had spring rolls for lunch then DP wanted them for tea as well, but I said no. We had a sweet and sour chicken, but DP doesn't skin the chicken does he, so I was picking that out. And I don't know why it was so liquid, it's not usually like that. DP had done a few dishes Monday while I was feeling out of it... I put on laundry and hung it out. Tuesday was a day I wasn't home much again, and while DP may have done some dishes it certainly wasn't all of them. I'd come home at lunch time because DD 2 was sooky and feverish, I spent the afternoon cuddling her. Every time I tried to put her down she woke up and cried. DP wanted to order pizza again for tea because it's cheaper on Tuesdays! I said we could just cook the last of the spring rolls. I'd not wanted to eat them all the day before, but spring rolls are better than spending $30 odd on pizza! Yesterday was Wednesday and I had sooooo much I wanted to do! DP did nothing! He sat on the toilet and the computer and that was about it. I put on washing and hung some inside because it was wet. I had 2 visitors by lunch time. I made cupcakes. DD 2 was very demanding of my time again, I'm sure she wasn't well still, and I had DD 4 at home too. DD 16 came home with a friend so they cooked tea, which was great, but I needed to get in to the kitchen LOL I took her friend home at 8.30pm, DD 2 still just wanted mummy hugs, I finally gave her to DP at 9.30pm so I could finish what I had to before Thursday. 11pm I got to bed! I was exhausted.

Today I was on kinder duty so have been out for the morning. DP isn't well, he was in the toilet when I got home and is in bed now. He says he spent the morning between bed and the toilet. DD 2 fell asleep about an hour ago, I hope she wakes up before I need to pick DD 4 up from kinder. I was doing some dishes and folded some laundry, I have heaps left on the airer because it's not worth putting on the line outside. The kitchen is a bomb site again, I look at it and I'm overwhelmed. Every piece of cutlery was out of the drawer (some I dried and put away, it had been done yesterday) There were no cups in the cupboard either. I've done some and will go shortly to dry them and put them away, but I wanted to start updating this more regularly. I will pick up DD 4, then DS 13, go to mum's, then DS 13 has sport. Mum will pick him up so I can come home around 5pm with the little ones. From mum's DD 16 and DS 13 will go to youth group and I will pick them up at 9.30pm. Hopefully I can get the kitchen sorted between then, it needs to be tidy to cook tea... I don't even know what we'll have for tea! Argh!

DP acts like a teenager... again.

DD 16 has been having trouble with one of her classes. She feels like the teacher ignores her when she asks for help and picks on her - as in points out what she hasn't done in front of the whole class. The last straw was when she failed her exam, along with about half the others that did it, and then her teacher told her she shouldn't come to resit it on Tuesday. She'd done a practice exam and not got a pass (70% I think). Trouble is that she can't do any more work until she resits it and passes, so he hassles her in class because she doesn't do work for that subject. She feels she's done as much as she can and wants to sit the exam, he won't let her. So I said that we'll make a time to see that teacher when we get a chance next term. I also asked her if there was someone else we could see over that teacher's head. Her co-ordinator. Ok, does she want us to ring and talk to him, no, she feels she can see him herself. We discussed options - we being myself and DD 16. I then got her to tell DP about it that afternoon - Tuesday. She was reluctant to do that but did, and DP started saying we should call the teacher and talk to him, he got to sort of raving, he was pretty upset. DD 16 almost yelled at him that she wanted to deal with it herself so DP yelled back "Well do it yourself then". Argh! I was so annoyed. He was annoyed that DD 16 didn't want to talk to him about it I think. I suggested to DP later that DD 16 was worried that he would yell at the teacher or something like that. "Have I done that before?" he said. No, he hasn't been in that position before. I told him he was sort of raving and maybe that worried DD 16, maybe she thought he'd embarrass her. We got nowhere with that conversation. I was happy to see if DD 16 could sort it out, and I told her if she needed us to back her up or if either of her teachers wanted to talk to us that we were fine with that and we were there for her. DD 16 didn't get to talk to her co-ordinator because he was busy. I said she needs to tell him she wants to talk to him before next term, basically that's today. She said she told him that. So it started again this morning.

DP was saying to DD 16 about talking to her teacher and she obviously doesn't want that. He said he's not told off her teachers before so she has no reason to think he will do that now, and why doesn't she want him to see her teacher? She had no reason, the discussion went for ages - "Why don't you want me to talk to your teacher?" "Because I said I don't want you to" "That's not a real reason" "Yes it is". Finally she said she will think of one by the end of the day. That's where I hoped DP would stop (and I told him that later after DD 16 left for school) But no, he kept it up. I was in the room when she said "If you go to see my teacher then I won't be there" and waved her hands up in a "so there" sort of pose. I copied her and said "there's no call for that". DP said "give me your ipod and your phone". She looked like she was going to throw them at him. She ended up leaving in tears, which is when I told DP he took it too far. He doesn't get it, he said she'll be fine by the time she gets to the bus. He also couldn't see that leaving it and bringing it up later would have a different result - my point was that it would be better if she was upset and home than upset and having to go to school. Nope, didn't sink in. I was so angry with him. I said it upsets the whole house. He just pursed his lips and said he'll stay out of it. ARGH! I can't take it any more.

On a brighter note I was out all day yesterday and came home and DP had actually done all of the dishes and tidied the bench a bit. OMG! And this morning while we were at playgroup he's done most of the few dishes that were there too. Maybe he understands finally, will see if we can keep on top of it for the next few days.

He's at a counsellor appointment right now. I had to load the little ones in to the car and take him, and I expect a message or a call to go and pick him up around 2pm. I just got a message from DD 16 wanting to go with her boyfriend to see his mum's boyfriend (does that make sense) to get help with this subject. I want her to come home, we will talk about it then... and I want to know if she's talked to her co-ordinator.

DD 1 has spread tissues all over the living room floor... Better go and clean it up.

Another week

We went shopping on Monday and bought frozen chips for lunch, only because we were visiting mum the kids had noodles instead. So when I got home DP asked about tea and asked if there'd be enough chips for tea. I said I'd bought them for lunch, there were 2 packets, one of wedges that I bought salsa and sour cream for. I suggested I could make tuna mornay and DP said "do that". So I did, only when I couldn't find a can opener he said "are you making it for tonight, I put the chips in". I said I thought that was the plan, he thought I was talking about tomorrow night. So I finished cooking it anyway and put it in the fridge for the following night.

Tuesday morning I got up and skipped breakfast so I could get the little ones ready to go. DP sat on WoW until I guess it became obvious that I was stressing over all the little things I was trying to do - get the girls dressed, hair done, DD 4's kinder bag packed, find shoes. DP actually got up and asked what to get DD 4 for lunch but I'd packed it already. So he ended up finding DD 1's shoes and brushed her hair. I went into the laundry to look for something and realised that the floor was wet - fantastic. I walked out again and told DP who said he would empty the room... I hoped but didn't fully believe. We got out the door in time, DS 13 came with us as he usually does on a Tuesday. It was my craft day but mum wasn't home so I came home for lunch and of course nothing had been done in the laundry. We didn't visit my grandmother either, so I picked DD 4 up at 2.30pm and DS caught the bus home giving me the afternoon to empty the laundry - it was very full from when we last had company and I "stored" a lot of stuff in there. We already had tea, just needed to put on some pasta to go with it. DP didn't move the whole afternoon, I was fuming! I cleared the laundry floor and mopped it. Even using a towel didn't make the floor feel dry so I put the heater in there for a while. I put a few things in the bath tub rather than the bathroom floor, but it took me a while to get around to sorting them out.

Wednesday was a day at home, and another day where DP didn't get the dishes done. I'm sure he got up and did some, just not many. I continued in the laundry, I wanted to find something I had to return to a friend. It wasn't in there. I moved things around and sorted out several boxes that were stored in the cupboard. That gave me room to put other stuff in there LOL It was another of those days where I feel I'm running around and DP is sitting on the computer all day. Since I didn't find what I was after it must be in my room, that was my next project.

Thursday was a day out after I took DD 4 to kinder. We got home at about 1pm and I can't remember what I spent the afternoon doing.

Friday the older 2 caught the bus but I went for coffee at a friend's at 9am then playgroup at 10am. I had lunch with mum and got home about 1pm. DD 1 was asleep, but woke up when I tried to put her in her bed.

Saturday we spent at home. I'd gone to bed at 1am then DD 1 was ready to get up at 6am. I got up with her but DP also got up and told me I could go back to bed after he got out of the bathroom, so I did. I got up again at about 8.30am. DD 16 helped me try to sort out my room, it was my main priority to find this thing for a friend. I managed to do that, it was in the bottom of my wardrobe under some bags of gifts I'm storing. I've moved them now, they are in the top of the wardrobe instead. I've used the space to put a hanging set of shelves that are labelled with the days of the week - Monday to Friday - and one that says 'Weekend'. My plan is to use them to put the little girls clothes in so I don't spend the mornings looking for outfits. I think if I put clothes in there on the weekend, or even as they are washed I could put them away in there. I thought I can put pj's in the bottom weekend shelf so I can ask anyone to grab stuff and they will find it LOL I've had these hanging shelves kicking around for years, the last few months I meant to take it to the op shop, but we'll see if this idea works now. DP asked if the bed was clear so he could have a nap, but it was covered with stuff I was trying to sort out. Not that I was very successful, there is still stuff all over the floor again because I didn't get it finished. I'd also put the cot on the bed so I could get to my wardrobe and put away some of my clothes.

DP finally listed a couple of T's on ebay while I was busy. At least he accomplished something... It was only last August he said he'd do it. I need to put some stuff up too, but I have trouble finding time to take photos and list it. DP isn't as descriptive as I am on ebay. Plus he's listing plain black t-shirts, I usually list more varied items.

I took DD 16 out to meet a friend for an hour and a half last night, we came home at 8.45pm and DP told DD off for waking DD 1. He was cuddling her and said she'd just gone to sleep when DD 16 opened the door too loudly - DP's "office" is behind the back door and that's where he sits with DD 1. I was so annoyed, I told him off. What a stupid thing to say. Apparently we should have known that at that time he'd have DD 1 trying to go to sleep, it could just of easily been me first through the door, would he have told me off too? I wouldn't have thought "ooh, better be really quiet walking in the door". Of course DP put DD 1 down and she came to me so I got her to sleep and put her in to bed.

We went to bed at about 11pm last night, DP was up this morning when I woke up - on the computer of course. It was still pretty dark outside, I think I fell asleep again despite having about 30cms of bed thanks to DD 1 and DD 4. I got up at 8am with them. I had my shower, cleaned out the bath tub. Told DP that it had been a week since the girls had a bath. He looked disgusted - well the bath was full of stuff since Tuesday. I also needed to put conditioner through their hair... I think I'll try to do that weekly, especially with DD 4 at kinder. At about 9.45am DP went back to bed after spending the morning online. I did most of the dishes with DS 13's help. DD 16 got the little ones some food then tidied the bench and she and DS have made lunch to take to mum's. DP is still in bed, I'll have to leave him a note. I have to change DD 1's nappy.

Raising teens

I ended up doing the dishes last night and DD 16 and DS 13 dried them for me. Unfortunately DD 1 was so full up with a cold/sleepy/grumpy that I couldn't finish them before she wanted cuddles. Then it was time for DS and I to make tea. DP slept until around 6.30pm. We'd all eaten by then and his was in the oven. Of course he didn't eat any vegetables... grrr.

Anyway he was up when I got up with DD 1 this morning. No idea what time he went to bed, I went at 10.30pm but he'd napped for 3.5 hours. Of course he was on WoW, I put the kettle on and he ended up getting me a milo and DD 1 a bottle before heading to the bathroom. DD 4 got up so I got her breakfast, DS and DD 16 both got up before DP got out as well. DD 16 needed to use the toilet and DD 4 needed to use the toilet but we only have one, which is why DP tends to use it later after everyone else has been. The rest of us are so much quicker. I was doing dishes when DP got out, he'd filled the sink to wash a bottle for DD 1 but that was all he did. He'd put some towels in the washing machine and started it, I added more because there it looked like there was room. I asked if there were many in and he said no but he'd changed the water level... at least that was something he remembered LOL Anyway there were tea towels and face washers to go in as well, so I did that. Then I had my shower and cleaned the bath to run for the little girls. Bathed them, dried them, dressed them. Then DP headed to the bathroom again at about 9.30am. I thought he was going for shower but he's just having that now.

About 20 mins ago DS 13 was playing a game with DD 1 - he had a bunch of near flat balloons and was bopping her on the head, so she grabbed another toy and was going to hit him so I stopped that game. I told DS that was a silly game and to not play it. Then I started to brush DD 1's hair and got hit in the eye with something. I said "ouch" and was hit again so I grabbed it. DD 4 was using a tape measure to hit DS who had started the balloon hitting game with her. I completely lost it and yelled at both of them. I said it was a silly game and that I was hit in the eye twice. I took the tape measure and popped the balloons and put them in the bin, pointing out I'd just told DS not to play with them. I sent DS to his room and told DD 4 to sit on her couch and not move. Then I finished brushing DD 1's hair. DP came out a few minutes later and asked what it was all about so I told him. He yelled up to DS to bring out his phone and his ipod and he took them off him. Sitting here thinking I think he's done the wrong thing and now I have to talk to DP about that. He had no right to come in to the situation and take away DS's things when I had already dealt with it. He gets annoyed when I step in, and that's exactly what he's done. It's all about appropriateness of the punishment, I think taking DS's things is going too far. Damn DP. He's going to get shitty with me when I point this out. He's about to get out of the bathroom, it's almost 10.30am and we have shopping to do today.

My not so secret blog

I told DP I have a blog... but I said it's about having a house that I can't have people over to (CHAOS) Basically we were "discussing" how I'm acting like he does very little around the house and he feels he's making an honest to God effort. He said he's doing the kitchen every day... well that's not entirely true. He may do "some" dishes every day, but that's not enough. There is a constant pile sitting there, I don't want that there. Take today as a prime example... he did one lot of dishes, but there is no space on the bench beside the sink because of dirty dishes. Yesterday was the same... he did some, nowhere near enough to keep up though. So I told him I have this because I'd written when he last did the dishes... I said he's doing them every other day at most, not every day. We had that "discussion" Thursday. After he'd done very little since coming back from his LAN weekend.

Then he had a counsellor appointment on Friday, which he said he would get himself to but instead he went for a nap! So when I got home at 1pm, thinking he had an appointment at 2pm, I woke him up. He didn't get up until 1.50pm and then told me his appointment was 3pm. Of course he did his toilet routine and I had to take him. I suggested he get himself home, and while he said he could walk the weather wasn't great and I knew he didn't really want to walk - it's quite far. He actually left his wallet and phone in the car so used their phone to call me when he was finished! If he was serious about walking he could have just walked, right. When I picked him up he said "I hate her" and before I could ask why he said "I hate that she's right". So I didn't ask any more, I didn't see the point. I'm not going to talk to him about his sessions this time, it didn't do anything last time except piss me off because I knew he was lying about stuff. Like when the last person said he's a perfectionist and that's why he never got his business out there, because it was never "good enough". I disagree. I think he's afraid of the responsibilities associated with having a life, he prefers to stay where he is. The excuses for not getting his business out there were more to allow him to continue working on it. The same goes for him finding a hobby. None of my ideas are valid because they're not things he's interested in, while his ideas all cost far too much money to start up. I'm talking $200-$1000! I bought him a $20-30 wooden model to work on... no idea what happened to it, he took it out of the box, pieces probably went missing, but it didn't get put together. He doesn't want to do woodwork because he used to work in his father's furniture factory. He's not interested in gardening. Who am I to judge, I'm not a garden person... but our back yard looks disgusting! It hasn't had the lawn/grass trimmed for months. And now the weather is bad so it's all long and far to wet to do anything anyway...

So he had a cd and I asked what it was for... apparently it's to help him get his routine in order. He's supposed to go to bed at 10.30pm and listen to this cd so he can get up in the morning. He says he has trouble going to sleep. Bah. He's not done it. Friday night he went to bed around 11pm and last night I went to bed at 11pm and he was still on the computer. Which is why he is having a nap now... he headed there at 3pm, I knew he would. He got up this morning with me and the little girls who were awake at 7am. Yesterday DD 16 was picked up for a trip at 5.30am so I got up at 5am to see her off. I tried to go back to bed after she left but DP was snoring his head off so I stayed up. Then I tried to go to bed again around 11am but DP went to the bathroom at the same time and DD 1 cried and called for me so I got up and started tidying the living room. By the time DP got out I was over trying to sleep... and stayed up until 11pm, that's 18 hours, eek LOL Anyway I think he can't sleep because he spends so much time on the computer. I've suggested exercise during the day and relaxation time at night - that isn't being on the computer... but what do I know.

We had yesterday at home too. I mentioned DP did some dishes.t I put on a ciouple of loads of washing, hung it out, bought some in when the weather looked too grey. I admit I didn't do much myself. DD 16 wasn't here and DS 13 had a friend over. DP made us lunch. I cooked tea. Right now I should be tidying the living room again, it needs vacuuming... again. DD 1 has a nasty cough, I've got her sitting on me now. Won't be able to do anything until she calms down a bit :( I've hung washing inside today. DP said he was going to get DD 16 to help do the kitchen today, that was before he went to bed. I think I will just do them. Damn him. This is not helpful!!! And he will think that because he spent 10 minutes doing some earlier that's his quota. I mentioned when we were talking about it that he does that... he said "it's more than 10 minutes thanks." Ok, maybe he's done more one day this week... but it's certainly not regular and that's what I'm waiting for. Ok I'm not all "omg you did so much today, fantastic" but that's because after 5 years of this I AM OVER IT!!! Fuck him. He needs to make more of an effort as far as I'm concerned. I can see we're going to need more relationship counselling if we are going to actually HAVE a relationship. We are 2 people living in the same house, that's it at the moment. We are not a couple.

I might go back to Wednesday now. He was supposed to go for a walk at 11am with our friend, only she messaged him and said she was sick so couldn't go. He said he would go in the afternoon. I think he'd got up late anyway. I was out for the afternoon, until after 3, but I don't think he went. In fact I'm pretty sure I asked him at some point and he said no. So his being in pain when he exercises is in fact because he's not going every day. He's acting like he is, so he walks as if he's used to it, but the truth is he's not gone since Monday. That's a week. Going for another 40 minute walk now will leave him in the same condition last weeks walk did! God he frustrates me! Anyway I did come home Wednesday and he'd done some dishes, but I know the kitchen wasn't finished. And Thursday while I was out he'd said he'd do the kitchen then instead he got in to his office. I mean, at least it was a little tidier and there wasn't the rubbish under his desk... but when will the kitchen actually be done? Even since we had our "discussion" he's not put much effort in. And he will say "I have, I've done heaps"... he still doesn't get that I'm annoyed at the time he spends on the computer instead of helping around the house. I even mentioned that Thursday night! He spends 10 minutes in the kitchen, 8 hours or more on the computer... an hour in the bathroom... that's more time than he spends doing dishes... that's what annoys me!!! Also that I can do more while he's in the bathroom than he does in an entire day! It's not even like I'm asking that much... am I??? Just that he do a few dishes every day and keep up with them... it doesn't take long - if you do it every day! Sigh... on that note I should clean the bathroom, that's my "Sunday job". Might leave it and do it tomorrow morning though, it's a public holiday. I usually do it after my shower anyway. At least it will get done.

Same old same old...

So DP came home with Maccas on Sunday night. I'd put tea in but we put it in the fridge for Monday night. He bought 4 Big Mac meals and 2 Happy Meals plus a cheese burger. Mind you he'd text messaged me about what to get and when I messaged back he said "too late". All the times we've had Maccas and he still doesn't know that DD 16 doesn't like Big Macs. He'd bought himself the second burger so she had the cheese burger and he had 2 Big Macs. Then DD 16 and DS went halves in one of the chicken schnitzels we were going to have for tea.

DP arranged to meet at 7am instead of 6.30am for a walk. He didn't set up his computer straight away either! But he did end up staying up. DD 4 had a nasty cough, I think he said that's why he stayed up, and DD 1 was restless too. I think we all have colds at the moment. Anyway I was awake and thought it would be close to 7am so I tried to wake DP. He stirred and I told him he should get up... he started snoring again. I got up and checked his phone, sure enough there was a message saying our friend was on their way - it was 7am. I woke DP and told him so he got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I messaged our friend then went out to chat to them until DP got out - not long - 5 minutes or so, quickest bathroom time ever LOL

The 2 older kids caught their buses before DP got back from his walk and our friend headed home. The younger 2 were up and I'd given them breakfast. I went to have my shower before DP took over the bathroom. He was in a lot of pain! It looked hard for him to sit down, and he came out of the bathroom smelling of Deep Heat. He spent the rest of the day sitting on the computer. Sure, he made a couple of phone calls but really didn't do much else. DD 16 got home early and did some cooking before I took her to sport. DD 4 fell asleep on the floor so I didn't take her. Poor little thing ended up quite hot and had that cough. I gave her some medicine before bed but only bought panadol today... haven't needed it yet (touch wood neither of the little ones wake up tonight needing it) I put tea in to reheat and DP put on microwaved steamed vegies then served tea. That was his chore for the day... he was going to make pancakes but DD 16 and DD 4 had made jelly earlier. I ended up with a headache, sinusy mostly, so went to bed at 9.30pm with DD 1 who was also full up with a cold. DP said he was up until 2am because DD 4 was coughing and getting up. He gave her a cough lolly at some point, she spat it out but slept well after that apparently.

This morning I was up by 7am with DD 1. I got her a bottle... I'm sure I put some dishes through. DD 4 got up and I got her breakfast and DD 1 wanted a milo when she saw DD 4 had one LOL DP got up about an hour after I did. I had a shower then ran a bath for the little ones. I put some essential oils in to help with their colds. We thought about giving DD 4 the day off kinder but she got a bit upset as she really wanted to go. I got the little ones ready with some help from DD 16 who had the day off because of exams, made DD 4 lunch and we were ready to go in time. DP had to pay his car rego, one of those "if he had his licence" moments. After craft I headed home and DD 1 fell asleep so we left her with DD 16 to pay the rego. At 2.15pm we went and picked up DD 4 and DS 13 and visited Nanna. DP sent a message at 3.15pm saying he was going for a nap. We got home at 5pm but didn't wake him until 5.30pm. I cooked tea and served it up. DP ate in the living room - first time for a long time!!! Then he made pancakes for dessert and made milo for DD 4 and got a bottle for DD 1. I took them to brush their teeth and read a book. DD 4 fell asleep by 8pm. DP wanted to cuddle DD 1 and she fell asleep so I was going to put her in to bed but DP said I had to give him a kiss to get the baby so I said he could do it. She woke up and cried, I think he moved... I asked if he wanted me to put her in to bed and he said no, he ended up going to bed with her at 9.30pm and now he's snoring away. He needs so much sleep... he wasn't playing WoW this evening though. He was reading comics on his computer. He doesn't understand that it's just the same. Same with reading the news... he needs to get off the computer more... and preferably do something active. I've been wanting him to help with the housework or get outside. The backyard looks terrible. It's in desperate need of mowing. Last week he asked the landlord to pick up his mower as it's in no condition to use. We have a whipper snipper but it's been months since DP used it! He always finds an excuse... mostly the grass is too wet. Of course it is... it's so long it takes forever to dry out even on the sunniest days - especially as it's winter so even sunny days can be chilly. ARGH! Oh well... tomorrow is another day. Hopefully DP remembers he's got another early morning walk - maybe that's why he went to bed so early. I'm up late because of Farmville... my own addiction I suppose LOL

WoW free weekend

Not DP unfortunately, but me. DP headed off to a mate's to LAN for the weekend. He was picked up Friday night and will be home tonight sometime. He doesn't bother contacting me most of the time when he does this, I'm not sure how I should feel about that. Especially since yesterday I messaged him saying good morning and asking if he had anything to add to the shopping list as I took the kids out. Nothing back. At all. No contact.

I love that he's getting out of the house, it's great, right. The days are great... the nights... I don't sleep well. I stay up later than I normally would and when I do go to bed I lay awake for ages fighting off the anxiety. Last night was extra bad - DD 1 was really restless. I'd drift off to sleep and wake up to her crying and wriggling. Then DD 4 got up and needed to go to the toilet. I ended up staying in bed until 8am this morning. I have so much I want to get done, I just don't know where to start. DD 16 planned to go to church today, then youth group. DS 13 wanted to go to youth group but not church, but I said I wouldn't take him or let him ride his bike later so his choice was go with DD 16 and go to church as well or not go at all. I suggested he would want to go as I have lots and lots of housework and would have him helping if he stayed home... he went. So instead of working right now I am wasting time here updating this blog. It's just that I'm so frustrated. DP finally fixed a friend's computer on Friday. Didn't take him long and he did it while playing WoW. Maybe a couple of hours. Then he's made plans to go walking on Monday morning at 6.30am. Not sure that he'll make that despite planning it with a friend, usually he comes home from LAN'ing and sleeps for 2 days. Anyway, one thing he did do was the dishes before he left. His ride had arrived and they packed up the computer and he said goodbye to me and I looked at the kitchen. Finally, after 5 years, it's set in that I want a tidy kitchen before he goes. Ok, I want it every day but I used to complain a lot about him leaving me with a messy house and 4 kids while he gets a weekend off. I still want time to myself... I wonder how long it will take him to get out of the house with all the kids and leave me in peace for 8 hours one day? He gets that most Tuesdays and Thursdays! And how does he spend his time? The same way he spends every day - online.

I wanted to stay home yesterday but DD 16 said she would cook for youth group and needed some stuff, so I took them all shopping. Left about 10.30am and got home at 1pm. I did spend some time in the afternoon trying to sort out my craft cupboard. We re-arranged the living room last week. I had to get DP to help with the larger furniture but he WoWed while I vacuumed and picked things up. The problem with re-arranging is that I am still trying to clean things up. The couch is piled up with clothes, that's pretty normal though. All the toys that were out here are still messy and need to be sorted out. And my craft cupboard had to be emptied and now I am trying to sort it out too. I'm finding things I forgot I had! I have papers everywhere, scrapbooking stickers and embellishments all over the place - I want to have them all together so I'm working on that too. Now DD 1 has come to sit with me - this is what slows me down. Why I need DP to take the kids out one day.

Last week he was annoyed because he had a phone call from his counsellor. He said she had a go at him because he didn't call last time he missed an appointment. He's asked his doctor for another referral to that counsellor, because he thought she was good. I'm not sure when his last appointment was, he said the one he missed was February. She said something about him purposely disassociating, I think that was the word. This is why I need to do this more regularly. I commented on how he's done the counselling and seeing a dietician before and how that didn't go anywhere. That annoyed him, but it's the truth. I told him it's up to him to follow through with these things, I've seen him start so much and never finish, never really accomplish much. He thinks he's come a long way... maybe he has - to him. To me the "baby steps" are a mere crawl and I can't take it much longer. I keep thinking that - I keep thinking "if we are still here in 12 months I have to leave"... but I haven't. It's been 2 years... more even. He does this little tiny bit and I think maybe there is hope, but it's taking soooo damn long! I keep thinking I am at the end of my rope but it seems there is a little bit more. Argh! I just took DD 4 to the toilet. My day gets so broken into tiny little pieces, is it any wonder I sometimes feel I accomplish so little. What a post after the one before where I did get a lot done. But that is so unusual for me. Right now I could cry. I don't know what to do, where to start. Probably the kitchen and the dishes. That's where I often start, then I run out of time to do anything else. Yesterday I did manage to tidy DP's desk. It was disgusting. I don't know how he allows it to get like that... I say and the desk I am on right now is piled high with "stuff"... at least I don't collect rubbish though. I asked DP for panadol last week, I'd got some off mum and had it in my bag until DD 1 found it, then I gave it to DP to put with some of the medication he has. It's usually in a little tool box type container. He said he "couldn't find it"... that's because he'd already taken it himself... I found the empty strip yesterday. Grrr. He tried to give me the kids stuff but I said I just wanted a pill. The kid's one you dissolve in water and TBH it tastes terrible! So I had to buy more and since the box isn't on DP's desk I'll assume he's taken it with him, if there are any left. He said his dr isn't worried about his pain killer consumption because it's not really that bad. I just get annoyed because I take it so little but whenever I want one there are none at all. That is actually why I bought the kids one too... DP won't take it. I think I need to put some in my bag though, or hide them, just for those times I'd like one. Rather like coffee, but I drink coffee more often than I take pain killers. I used to buy instant because DP was using the plunger. Then he gets lazy and doesn't wash the plunger and he's gone back to instant. He puts vanilla essence in it too, too much if you ask me. He just pours it in, so I have to hide that too. I wouldn't mind if it was the imitation stuff, but he's decided the real stuff tastes better - which is why I cook with it - but it costs $5 a bottle and he'll go through that in a week. It doesn't sound like much I suppose, but all his costs add up. He uses more toilet paper, he drinks lots of soft drink and coffee, pain killers, nose spray ($8 almost every week) and they are things the rest of us don't use. The kids sometimes get soft drink, but once a day at most, not his 4/5/6 a day. We'd save money on electricity without DP using the fan every day too.

DD 1 came over again... it's 10am and I should get something done. I've got to get the kids at 2pm and I'm waiting to see if mum will be home after that. DD 1 is looking for food or drink now too... in 2 years she will go to 3 year old kinder I think. Only a couple of hours a week but maybe I'll be able to get things done.

Great day for accomplishment

I've had a productive day today. It's 10.50am and I've just sat down with coffee and bikkies, DP got them for me and set up this computer. Probably to make me sit LOL

I was up at 7am and showered. DP had gotten up about 20 mins earlier and opened a can of Rockstar, an energy drink. I don't think it's really a good way to start the day myself. He made me a milo and I got toast. I went on Facebook and did Farmville and Cafe World before DD 16 packed up her computer to take to school. DD 4 got up and had a milo. DP went to the bathroom and I started tidying the living room. When he got out I was vacuuming the air con. He said he was planning to take the a/c out until next summer. That would give me the chance to clean the window so I don't mind. At the moment the a/c is put into the open window with a cardboard cutout above it stuck in with packing tape. It's been like that for the 3.5 years since the landlord put it in. He bought it because we'd had DD 4 in the winter and it was her first summer. DP rang today to get a price on perspex, $100 roughly. There is a big black house spider living between the 2 pieces of glass, and it's full of webs that I can't get get rid of, it looks horrible.

So I vacuumed up the spider webs on the walls and in the window behind the curtains. I moved the sofa and chairs and vaccied under them. I've done about half the living room and took a break. I'm on the phone now, have been for nearly 30 mins, chatting to a friend. While I was doing the living room DP has been on the computer. I defrosted the freezer too, cleaned it out before I sat down. I said we need to get the old fridge resealed, DP rang to get a price on that too - $155 for just the fridge or $185 for the fridge and freezer. So he looked on ebay and found seals for $55 delivered for the fridge and $85 for both. So $100 for installation... I reckon I could do it LOL The other thing DP has been doing is researching coeliacs and gluten free living. I'm not sure why but he's thinking it may be his "problem". He mentioned watching what he was eating and the reaction afterwards. Now he is playing WoW and has been since I sat down to have coffee... and he just headed to the bathroom again. Damn, I wanted to go LOL Oh well. Off to finish cleaning up I think.

Exhausted

So it's been a week since I was here. The computer I was using has started to die, the fan is going. Last week I was hardly online at all, including Facebook! Mainly because DD 16 takes her computer to school so I could only get online when DP was off his computer. That was Facebook time, while he was in the bathroom. At one point last week I commented that it would be harsh if he had to share his computer! He just said "yes it would" and that was it.

What has my week been like? Well, today DD 4 had a birthday party to attend and DD 16 went to her boyfriend's house because they've been "going out" for a year now. I went to mum's while the party was on and DD 16 met us there. As I left this afternoon I said to DP that I would like him to do some dishes, "cooking tea is not your only chore, there are other things that need to be done" I said. He's still not 100% these days, but I don't think I remember a time where he has gone very long without being "ill". Anyway I was out from 12.30-3pm and he has done some dishes. He also says he will get off the computer "soon" and move the living room around because I put the clothes airer in front of his seat and he can't watch TV. It's not been an issue for long but will be for the rest of the winter depending how often he decides he will sit with the rest of us instead of being on the computer. The heater is between DP's seat and the TV and I put the clothes near it to dry. DD 1 is asleep at the moment, I want to do some craft but will update here first.

Why am I exhausted? As I drove to the party today I was feeling both emotionally and physically drained. I've been sleeping in lately, not good really. I have to go to bed before 11pm to get up at a reasonable time (to me) Yesterday DP headed to bed at about 9pm, well before the children went to bed - they wanted to watch Toy Story 1 and 2 on TV. He was getting pains that he described as feeling like he'd accidentally eaten a glass bottle. He reckons he doesn't want to eat bread or have cereal as it was his initial feeling that he'd had too much fibre. I don't know if that's even possible. Besides which we only have white bread, certainly not much fibre in that LOL He had that same pain earlier, not sure if I managed to post about that here. Maybe it was last weekend. DS 13 had stomach pains Tuesday so had the day off school. DP has an appointment tomorrow with the nurse/doctor... he needs to get another assessment to get another referral to the counsellor.

Maybe I will backtrack to last weekend. We went shopping, we often do on weekends though I am trying to stop that habit - I'd prefer to go on Monday when the kids are at school, then we can spend the weekend doing some cleaning up around the house. Gives the kids time at home to do their rooms too. So DP decided to buy some walking poles. My fault, I saw them marked down to $20 and pointed them out. He also bought exercise gloves and a skipping rope, and a single wrist weight that was on the clearance rack. The latter 2 are still sitting in their bag here on my chair. The poles he took out and was playing with when he realised one wouldn't fit together properly so had to go back. We spent heaps of money that day. I think it was Saturday. He wanted to go out again Sunday but I wanted to spend time at home. He'd talked about going himself but then didn't. I think I took the kids to visit mum.

Monday we stayed home until I had to do the sports run. Tuesday was craft and visit Nanna day. Wednesday was another day at home but DP had done some work on Tuesday and had to pick up his payment for that. We headed in to town when DS 13 got home, we'd sent a message to DD 16 via her boyfriend because DP had her phone but she didn't get it. We came home and picked her up then went out to return DP's walking poles. I was going out there again on Thursday but oh well. DD 16 lost her phone for talking back to DP. I did have a conversation with him about how he needs to warn her then back off and let her cool down. What tends to happen is "Stop talking to me like that or I'll take your phone"... "Give me your phone". Then he wonders why she's constantly angry. They are as bad as each other, honestly. I suggested getting counselling - or some help with how to deal with teens. Perhaps some help for all of us as a family. DP doesn't think we need it.

Thursday I was out until 12.30pm, Friday I took the little girls to an indoor play centre with our playgroup. That was great fun actually. So it's been a 'normal' week for me. The days I've been home I've been trying to sort out the kitchen and living room. I've wanted to vaccum since Wednesday but it's still not done. It's like I get things sorted a bit then suddenly the room explodes. And the dishes! Mum came over on Thursday and did them for us! You couldn't tell by Saturday (yesterday) Yesterday was another day at home, I didn't feel like I did much though. I was doing the dishes and almost caught up. DP and DS 13 went to the cinema - they caught a taxi there and then DP rang me when it was finished and asked if I could pick them up. There are roadworks on the way there, I was fuming by the time I picked them up. I told DP I would like it if next time he is more "self sufficient"... they were going to go shopping only DP needed to use the bathroom and was desperate to get home.

It's 4.50pm and DP has just gotten up to start tea... I will get off here, not ready for him to know this exists LOL

Finally - we have cake!

Yes, this afternoon DP has made some vanilla cupcakes and a chocolate cake. He's talking about making melting moments and condensed milk biscuits but I won't hold my breath. He's quite involved in WoW at the moment, clicking away there busily LOL

He got up before me again this morning, 6.30am he said. I was up about 7.15am and went to have my shower. He'd made DD 4 a milo, DD 1 was awake when he got up but he said he didn't realise. I stayed in bed with her - we co-sleep - and she dropped off for another hour. I had to get DD 4 breakfast, DP was already on the computer. DD 1 got up as I did that so I got her a bottle. I'd heard the water running in the sink before I got up, but it turned out it was just DP rinsing out his coffee plunger. I'm a bit annoyed, I wish he'd clean out the sink when he does that. He also empties it on top of any dishes that may be in the sink. Today it was just a plate and cup, earlier in the week it was all over the dish cloth and in a saucepan. Anyway I got a few dishes done before DD 1 got up. She was a bit grumpy so I cuddled her for a while. The older 2 caught buses again, so I just had to get the little ones dressed in time to leave at about 9am. There was a meeting at DS's school then we went to playgroup. Mum wasn't home so I got home at 12.30pm. DP was watching Dr Phil! I was pretty surprised, but it was about serial killers so just the sort of thing he'd be interested in. I've done very little this afternoon. I was hungry at 10am but didn't eat until we got home. DD 1 was tired but fighting sleep until about 1.45pm. DD 4 has games from kinder that she wanted to play but "no babies" so DD 1 had to be asleep. We've done the giant floor puzzle and played the game now. The older ones will bus it home again so I am going to watch Judge Judy shortly then I should probably get stuck in to the dishes... unless DP goes back in the kitchen to cook. He started at about 12.45pm, not long after we got home, and the last cake came out at least 30-40 minutes ago.

He's in a group it sounds like, on WoW. So that's why he's so involved. They'll be battling someone else's group... yep, he said they are going up in the ranks. Can kiss goodbye to this afternoon then. He's still coughing, but at least has the puffer. He's meant to take it twice a day. Hopefully he gets over it... mind you he's asthmatic and has been prone to getting chest infections every winter. I'm tired myself, nearly dropped off cuddling DD 1. Time for coffee and JJ I think.

Still sick

I was out all morning today, as usual on a Thursday. I didn't think about DP's script until I was out. He'd said he would ring about a job, might 'try' to get out and about. He didn't, and he didn't do any housework... he's still feeling pretty crap. He was coughing as we had lunch. He was reading the news online and said there have been more deaths related to asthma this year compared to last year. That's comforting. So I took his script and got it filled this afternoon. He said he was "scared" to take it LOL It's a corticosteroid puffer. He took it eventually. The kids and I had tea with mum tonight. DS 13 had sport, I picked him up and took him to mum's to eat then he headed to youth group. I had a coffee with mum then got the little ones home. Finally around 9pm they were both asleep, I left to get the older 2 around 9.20pm.

Yesterday we went to look at the school at 11am, then went to pay my car registration, then we went shopping and got home at about 1.30pm. DP cooked tea. Actually he was going to make a cake - or so I thought. I was doing the dishes and he commented on wanting the kitchen so I got out. Our kitchen is really small. Anyway I said I'd get on his computer to check my email and he said I couldn't because he was transferring something. Next thing I know he's on the computer himself. He put tea in, it was only about 4.30pm but the older 2 were saying they were starving LOL So frustrating, he spent the night on WoW again.

This morning he was up with DD 4 when I woke up, he said she got up around 6-6.15am I think. I truly expected he would have had a nap today, instead he has gone to bed before me! There are so many dishes to do right now but I am far too tired, as usual. Instead I will watch Medium before I go to bed.

Time to find DD 4 a school

Yes, DD 4 will be off to school next year, scary. It's Education Week so most of the local schools are having info sessions and open days. The plan is to look at a school near here today, if we don't like it we'll have to look elsewhere, so I'm hoping it's all good. DP just went to get ready. He was up with us at 7am and I went and had my shower while he got the little girls milos. DD 1 came up to cry at the bathroom door and call out to me, she stopped for milo DP said. He's been on the computer since - trying to get an app to work on his ipod I think. He bought it last Friday when he was out with his brother. He said his brother had said he bought one for his wife so DP decided it would annoy his brother if he bought one too. An ipod touch, just to clarify. Not sure how much use it will actually get, but it does explain why he gave his 'old' ipod to DD 16 if she passed her's to DS 13. I sort of expected it to be honest. I'm annoyed this morning though because while the older 2 caught buses I've still been busy. I put on some laundry, spent 30 minutes combing conditioner through DD 1 and DD 4's hair then gave them a bath. All that time DP was on his computer. He commented that he couldn't make something in Publisher then convert it to PDF without the whole thing moving around. When I walked past he was looking at a WoW forum. Then at 9am he said he'd go and get ready when I got the girls out of the bath, but he took an extra half an hour, of course. Meanwhile I got DD 1 dressed, help DD 4 get dressed, and then got them more toast because they were hungry. Then I've jumped on Facebook until DP went to the bathroom so I can type this up without him here.

Yesterday DD 1 didn't have another nap. I picked up DD 4 and DD 16 met me so we could go out to see their coach. We've ordered what we need. I got a message from DP at 3pm saying he was going for a nap. He left a message for DS 13 but he didn't see it so called me when he got home at 4pm. We got home around 4.30pm because we stopped at Spotlight, oops LOL. I did some dishes and make chicken and corn soup for tea. I even made cheese scones to go with it. DP got up about 6pm, right when we were eating. I told him he was only allowed to have 2 scones, so he grabbed them and sat on his computer again. He doesn't like soup apparently. He had said he'd do some cooking because he'd been asleep for the afternoon, when I went to bed around 11pm he asked if we have eggs - we do. This morning the mixing bowl was out with the beaters and a cake mix, I guess he got too caught up in WoW. Before DD 4 went to bed she wanted a story - DP told her he was "working"... that struck me as odd, he was on WoW. I guess it has something to do with this whole competition thing. He was talking about the "haves" and the "have-nots" in WoW. The people who have been playing longer and have better gear have the ability to get more better gear while those that don't have it aren't getting the opportunity to get it. There is also the "pallies" or Paladins that are far superior characters so most people want to one. DP calls them idiots characters because you don't need any real talent to be one - their abilities are such that they can beat the other characters easily. In one group of 40 last night he said there were 23 pallies. He reckons Blizzard - the company behind WoW - don't care, they've designed it that way. DP also thinks WoW has written their own death certificate, because new players won't want to come in, and the "have-nots" won't stay around for much longer. But that's his ranting LOL

I should try to do some dishes before DP gets out of the bathroom, though he's only been there for 20 minutes. DD 4 wants some morning tea too.

All Day WoW... again

So yesterday, instead of being the day home I'd hoped, became a day of running around with a little time in between. DD 4's appointment was 11.45am so we left just after 11.30am. The dr was running late, as they so often do, so I didn't get home until nearly 12.30pm. DP had said he'd go and have a nap while we were out, and to wake him when we got home. DD 4 said she would body slam him, but she didn't. She did go in and he woke up then went back to sleep. At 1pm I went in and told him that he had an hour until he had to go to the dr himself. He finally got up and I got some lunch for us all. He sat on WoW, I cuddled DD 1 and she fell asleep half an hour before we'd have to leave to get DP to the dr. It became apparent that he wasn't going to get himself there. I had to wake DD 1 up at 2pm so we could leave. DP didn't get up until I said I was putting the girls in the car, then he was running around looking for his wallet! He'd had plenty of time to sort himself out. I took the girls to a nearby shop and DP walked up when he was finished, we got home at 3pm. DS 13 caught a bus home, DD 16 sent me a message when she was on her way to her sport so I could leave and meet her with her equipment. That was about 4pm. DP cooked tea and we ate at about 6.30pm. I had to get DD 16 at 7.30pm. I did go looking for stuff to put up on ebay, DP still hasn't done any more than take a photo. I watched TV and went to bed at 11pm.

This morning DP got up with the rest of us and made milos for me and the little girls. He got them some breakfast a bit later. I'd had a shower before DD 1 woke up which was a nice change. DP sat on WoW and was there when I left to take DS 13 to school and DD 4 to kinder. We were ready earlier today, I had the little ones dressed and made DD 4 lunch and even got my stuff together for craft! I also emptied the machine and put another load of washing on. I hung both out when I got home at midday, and put another load on to wash. DP made us lunch and I've been on the computer since, lazy LOL He was on WoW when I got here and is still playing now. He has a friend's computer sitting here to fix, had it since last Thursday night. He was chatting to his brother on WoW when I got home apparently. Often that's his excuse for being on there, it's the only time he gets to chat to his brother, or his friend. I have less than an hour then I'll go get DD 4. DD 16 is meeting me at kinder so we can go out and buy DD 4 something for sport. DD 1 is cuddly, so I might go and watch The Hills for a bit :P

Raising Teenagers

This morning we had an arguement. DD 4 got a cough last night, and spent much of the night breathing shallowly, almost panting. DD 1 was just restless, at one point I sat up and rocked her. DP got up with DD 4 at 6.30am when it was obvious she wasn't going to sleep again. We're going to book her in to the dr today, hopefully get an appointment for today too (just rang and have an 11.45am app). So I told DD 16 that we wouldn't be taking DD 4 to sport tonight, so she could catch a bus. She was quite upset and throwing dirty looks at DP. He was putting his comments in and even to me it sounded mean. I was saying "Look, it's just for today, it's not like you get paid to help with the younger ones, you'll just be a little late". DP told her she could take her equipment to school with her. She had to catch a bus to school, then bus it from there to sport. I thought that was a bit mean, but DP was being insistent. DD 16 was quite upset by this too. I ended up telling DP that since I would normally make the drive anyway that I would take her equipment out in time for her class. He was saying it wouldn't hurt DD 16 to do it once, that he thought it would be less inconvenient for me to not have to do it etc. We've discussed recently that her school books are very heavy, so I said it was hardly fair to expect her to take another bag as well. So I got it my way and will take DD 16 her equipment, she will let me know what time she'll get out there.

After she left I discussed it all with DP again. I said I don't like the way they fight. He says I don't hear how both DD 16 and DS 13 talk to him and that he's polite "for weeks" before he snaps. I said it's not like that at all, I know they all talk that way to each other. I said someone has to be polite, and he's the adult so he should do it first. I think that's when he said he does that already. I hear him talk to the kids and it sounds mean to me too. He says he uses his "deadpan voice" and they still react that way. I said that's because using no emotion is the same as hate, if there is no emotion then there is nothing. He didn't get it. I said that people use emoticons when they type because no emotion is a bad thing. I said he'd done psychology for a bit, how did that not make sense to him. I said he needs to try using compassion.

When we were discussing things with DD 16 there I commented that just because DP's parents would have expected him to get around by himself that was no excuse to treat DD 16 the same way, he said not to bring up his parents. So without DD there I said that because his parents had no compassion he has no idea how to parent because he had no role model. I suggested we get counselling as a family because I am so sick of how he and DD 16 fight. He says it's "normal", that it's just the way they are, that it's fine. It's not fine, I hate it. He treats my older 2 differently to the younger ones, I said that fine; I prefer to think that it's because the little ones are younger, not that they are his. He needs help parenting teenagers because he has no idea. Not to say that I am an expert. DP often says "how would you react if they talked to you that way". He knows how I react, the difference is he feels they think it's "ok" to treat him that way, they wouldn't do it to me. I've told him in the past that it's because of the way he tries to parent them. Sitting on the computer and telling them to clean the house is not fair. I don't do that. I ask for help but I am busy doing other housework. The closest he gets is when he washes some dishes then says to DD 16 "do some drying", then he sits on the computer. He doesn't even get up straight away when she's done most of the time. Plus the way he asks is often that blunt, sometimes he'll be more polite and even use a "please".

Besides all that the weekend went as usual. DP on the computer for most of it, he slept in yesterday. I think he was up and went back to bed about 7am because I got up with DD 4 at 7.30am. He ended up getting up around 11am. He at least did some work last Thursday! And he went and picked up payment Friday - with his brother! So I didn't have to go LOL It was Friday afternoon, I'd had the girls at playgroup in the morning and was home ALONE! Alone meaning without DP of course, it was SO NICE! I got heaps of dishes done - not that you can tell this morning. I did heaps yesterday too... they don't take long to multiply :(

Running out of titles without repeating myself

Early Tuesday morning I was lying in bed awake and trying to go back to sleep. I heard DD 4 get up and use the potty and DP said "DD4's up"... I thought he said he gets up to her overnight, but obviously it was 'my turn'. I emptied the potty and got DD 4 to lay back in her bed, I checked the time - 4am... and I couldn't get back to sleep once I got up. I lay there awake thinking "that's it, I won't get up in time now"... I actually said that to DP too, I was so annoyed. He can get up and then he's snoring within seconds of laying back down. Which is what happened, I fell asleep to his annoying snore. I'm not sure what time he got up, DD 4 was up when I woke up and DP was asleep in his chair - it was 7.30am. I went and showered, it's a day out on Tuesday. DP moved when I got out of the shower, 7.45am. He told me to sit and have breakfast and made me a milo. I hate sitting down first thing in the morning, I end up running late. I did some things on Facebook and before I knew it it was 8.15am. I got the little girls clothes and got them dressed. DD 16 had caught the bus, DS 13 was getting himself ready. DP actually made DD 4 her lunch! I was very surprised, that's the first time ever I think. I was running around looking for hairbrushes, shoes, stuff to take to craft... I really need to organise all that the night before I think. I got DS 13 to school on time and was actually a little early for DD 4's kinder. We went out for lunch with the craft group so I got home at 1.30pm. DP hadn't been anywhere but had chatted to the photographer on the phone again. He said the guy was busy... but would be coming here Wednesday to see him. ARGH!!!! DP hadn't done anything except fill the sink with hot water. I honestly don't know what I did when I got home, but I had less than an hour until getting DD 4 and visiting Nanna. We got home at 5pm, DP was making mince for tea. After tea I realised I needed to do a lot of tidying before a business person came here! I did dishes, cooked anzac biscuits... DD 1 fell asleep at 6.30pm, before we ate tea. She stirred a few times. At 8.30pm I was cooking and watching tv, then at 9pm I sat down for a rest. There were still dishes to do but I thought I could do them in the morning. DD 1 woke up and needed a nappy change at 10pm, I took her to bed at 10.30pm.

DP got up and went to the bathroom this morning, then came back to bed and started snoring. DD 1 was kicking me so I got her out of bed, it was 7.15am. DD 4 got up soon after so I got them both breakfast. DD 16 was out at 7.30am so I left her in charge of the little ones so I could have my shower. I got out and put a load of washing on, and took out what was in the machine. DD 16 and DS left to catch their buses and I got stuck in to the dishes. I went to find DD 1 some slippers and DP woke up, it was 8.15am. He got up, I told him our house is not really good for having people come to, I said appearances count a lot. He says "It's a house with 4 kids"... umm, that's no excuse as far as I'm concerned. At 9.30am he headed to the bathroom, knowing the photographer was arriving at 10am. Thankfully he was quick and was out in 20 minutes! He hadn't showered but had changed his clothes. I was running around trying to tidy the floor at the time, I'd swept when he got out and his office area was much more respectable from the front door. When the photographer arrived I finished the dishes, the kitchen is almost completely finished - to me that means getting rid of some of the "clutter", which is all I need to do now. I haven't done anything in the living room. When the photographer left it was 11am and I've been on the computer for most of the time since then. I feel really lazy. The kids are getting themselves home... I meant to bath the little ones but couldn't with the photographer here, then was waiting to have lunch, then it was too freezing cold in the house - the heater is on up the hallway now so should be warmer. I might bath them now, DD 4 is in her pj's still - ok if it was a weekend LOL DP played WoW over lunch, now he's looking at cameras. He says he's looking for me... he had showed me a video camera earlier. I wonder why... he goes through these stages of wanting to spend money. I've been on here enough... I had to put a coat on it was so cold! Even with the heater in the living room on I'm cold. I hate winter!

Busy at home

Well, as expected I got up to the biggest mess of a kitchen... I took a photo. I was up at 6.45am with DD 4 so I got stuck in to the dishes. DD 1 got up around 7.15am. I got the little girls breakfast and decided to have some myself, then kept cleaning the kitchen. DS 13 and DD 16 both caught their buses in to school, DS said he would catch one home so I didn't have to pick him up. I got most of the kitchen tidied before DP got up at 9am, he got out of the bathroom at 9.40am by which time I'd had a call from a friend so said I'd go over there for a coffee. I was home by 11am and DP was having toast and coffee, though who knows, maybe it was his 2nd or 3rd.

DD 4 had stayed home, I took DD 1 with me. I hung out 2 loads of washing that had been done before I left and put another load on which got hung out after lunch. At midday I got lunch for myself and the girls because DP had not long finished 'breakfast'. DD 1 had a nap and I cleaned the top of the stove and the inside of the microwave. I forgot about the plate, I put it in the sink to soak with other stuff and when I got home at 5.30pm DP was heating food without it. DS ended up washing it so he could heat up wheat bags for bed.

I also made cupcakes before I had to get DD 16 and take her, DD 1 and DD 4 to Monday sport at 3.30pm. I sat down at 2.45pm because there didn't seem to be enough time to start anything, and I was waiting for the plastic ware to air dry before doing more dishes. I might try to finish them tonight, they won't get done tomorrow. DP had rung the photographer and found he was on his way to a job so he's booked in to see him tomorrow at midday - same thing as today, he will have to get himself there. Tomorrow I will be busier than today! DP got tea, leftovers with noodles. Then I checked and asked if there was enough for DD 16 and he hadn't left enough. He said "there's some in the white bowl" and I showed him - there wasn't much at all. He said "I thought I'd left enough, sorry" and he ended up putting some that he'd served himself back so at least DD 16 had a meal. Meanwhile the mince from yesterday seems to have been left out - I can't believe he reheated all of it then put some back. That's a whole other story there. He's pulled it out for tonight too. He probably would have told DD 16 to eat that, but I'd told her we were having sweet and sour and she was looking forward to that.

DP spent today on the computer. He was trying to work on Ebay - last August he said he would put up all these clothes he has that he doesn't wear. He set up a 'store' that he's been paying for since then and not using!!! $20 a month down the drain. So he was 'researching' things like postage and how to use Ebay, and he 'sorted' out the clothes. He actually took some and tried them on so there's a new pair of shorts he has to wear - maybe he has lost some weight, they didn't fit him before. Many of the clothes are t-shirts from Target, 7X, the biggest you can get. He wears them once (or continually for a week) and then I would wash them and they would shrink so he wouldn't wear them again. He used to try stretching them, but he's been wearing 7X for years... and in the last 5 or so he put on 30 or more kilos, so stretching just doesn't work any more. Anyway now he's in the bathroom but he was playing WoW... in fact it is still up on his computer and he's left the box fan running... I hate it when he does that. Our electricity bill is just ridiculous!

Will try for another early night tonight, so I can get up early tomorrow. GNW is on, I don't think I want to do dishes, I might miss something funny ROFL

Mother's Day continued

DD 1 fell asleep soon after I posted. While I mostly watched tv and sat on the computer I also took the time to try out dyeing a t-shirt. I think I need more practice. DP ordered pizza for tea at about 4.30-5pm. Didn't take long to arrive. The pizza guy pointed out this gigantic spider and DP said "we'll take care of it", which of course meant I would. I sprayed it with heaps of fly spray and it took ages to die. It's body was bigger than a 5c piece, I wonder if it was a pregnant black house spider. Anyway, had tea and watched a movie. When DP gave me my plate he wanted a kiss. I pointed out that all I wanted was the dishes done, and he said "and did you notice I did some". Yes, I noticed, but there were still lots to do. He asked if I would watch him do the rest and I said yes, as long as they were done by 11pm as that's when I would go to bed. It's 10.20pm now and I'm going to write this then go to bed. No more dishes have been done at all, they will be there in the morning no doubt. Or he will do the crockery and leave all the cutlery and pots and pans. He just said he'll go in first thing and see the photo guy that he's going to do the website for. So that means 2 things - he's promised me to do something that won't get done and he says he'll go in to town himself so he will possibly ask for money for a taxi. I have none. He asked if I had any money at lunch time, I think he was talking to the kids about going to get chips (them, not him) Will see what tomorrow brings... but I think I have a lot of housework to catch up on. The kids tidied the living room (did I post that already?) I brought in all the washing so have to fold it up. The kitchen... argh!!!

Off to watch the rest of House and put the left over pizza in the fridge... want to defrost the fridges at some point. Sigh...